Hell Tattoos
by SillyKwado
Summary: Lukas Bondevik always wondered what kind of soulmate he'd end up with, especially since the first words his soulmate will say to him is "GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"... that probably meant nothing good. DenNor! Soulmate!AU


Lukas Bondevik has always wondered who his soulmate was. What would they be like? Would they be nice and caring? Or horrible and mean? Lukas has heard his fair share of soulmate-horror stories after all. But he supposed they probably learned to get along or something since they were destined to be together.

Then again, what would he know?

He hasn't found his soulmate yet, and judging by the words on his wrist, he wasn't very sure is his soulmate was… really the right one for him. Ever since he was little and he first asked his parents to read the words tattooed on his wrist, he always wondered what kind of person would "say" _that_. Everyone in the world had a "soulmate tattoo". It was usually a few words (sometimes an entire sentence or a single word) that appeared on the wrist at birth. It was what your soulmate was going to say to you when you first met them. Most of the time, it was short enough to fit on the underside of the wrist. Not Lukas'. Of course not.

No, his _had_ to be one of the weird ones. Even his younger brother's was normal in comparison, and it said "Hey there, sexy." Instead, Lukas' wrapped around his entire wrist looking like a bracelet rather than a small soulmate tattoo, and all it said was "GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

He always imagined the scenarios as to what would cause his soulmate to say this. Each one he thought of was more horrible than the last. Would he be dying? Or maybe they'd be in the throes of sex? God, he hoped not. That'd be awkward. Imagine hearing your soulmate's words during their orgasm… that'd mean they were probably originally going to be a one-night stand.

Lukas shook his head. This was why he never went to drink alone. He didn't want to be one of those people who found their soulmate that way. He didn't even want to think of the possibility that his soulmate was already dead, that was even worse.

So, here he was, a 27-year-old Norwegian man with a cat and still hasn't found his soulmate. On the bright side, neither has his brother. Of course, Emil was still in university and, with a soulmate tattoo like that, his soulmate shouldn't be very hard to find.

Lukas looked at his patient chart for the day. He was a general practitioner for HGH, Hetalia General Hospital. He had quite the lineup for today with only one serious case. Looks like a young man came in earlier this morning after a car accident. Looks like he'll just start with that one, since Heracles, who was originally treating the patient, just went home.

* * *

Mathias groaned at the bright sun light shine through the window and directly at his bed. His head hurt… his eyes hurt… his everything hurt. What happened…? Oh, right.

He still can't believe that he ran into that ice cream truck. Berwald always told him to wear a helmet and watch where he was going, but no, of course he didn't listen, and now he was going to hear about this for the rest of his life. So he was stuck here with a broken arm, a broken leg, few cracked ribs, minor concussions, a deformed brand-new bike, and the worst pain he had ever felt in his life all wrapped up in a nice little white, hospital-smelling bow.

He hissed again at the light shining directly into his eyes. He blinked away the spots that appeared in his vision before looking around. It was a boring, hospital room. What more can he say? There wasn't even another patient in here with him. He was completely alone.

He sighed. He hoped Berwald or at least Tino would come visit him soon. Mathias could already tell he was not going to like it here. He wondered if he could go straight back to work after this. Surely teaching a bunch of highschool kids won't require the use of his broken arm and leg right?

God, Berwald was going to kill him.

Mathias looked around the room some more, trying to find something to entertain himself with. He noticed a T.V. on the wall but it wasn't turned on nor was there a remote nearby. There was a machine next to him and Mathias reached for it.

Then the room door opened. Finally! Someone was here!

Mathias didn't bother pulling his hand back; he just let it hover there as he looked at the sexy man that just entered his domain. He was fair skinned and had silky, blond hair. He had deep blue eyes and a narrow face with a square jaw. Part of his hair was pulled back with a small gold cross and the other half floppily hung over his right eye. He had a lean build under the doctor's coat and dress shirt and tie. He probably had a real nice ass too if he turned around, especially with those black dress pants that hugged him in all the right places.

"GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," Mathias groaned out of both pleasure (the sight of his sexy doctor) and pain (his stupid head, arm, leg, everything). The doctor glanced at him briefly before looking back at his chart.

Mathias raised an eyebrow but after noticing the doctor lost interest (that's disappointing), Mathias turned back to the machine and reached for it again.

"Don't touch that," came the deep voice of the doctor. Mathias whipped around and gaped at the sexy man.

There was no way…

* * *

"Alright," Lukas started, setting down his clipboard. "I'm Lukas Bondevik, and I'll be your doctor this evening." He looked back up at his patient and noticed Mr. Køhler staring at him with wide, blue eyes and an open mouth.

"What?" he asked irritably. This guy was already rubbing him the wrong way. That wasn't good. He'll probably need to switch patients with somebody soon.

"Y-you… wha…?"

This guy wasn't making any sense. Of course, it could be the concussion talking. Either way, it wasn't looking good.

"What are you talking about?"

"S-soulmate?" Mathias gasped.

"What about it?"

"What did you just say?" The man asked. Finally, a coherent sentence. Maybe there was hope for this guy yet.

"My name is Lukas Bondevik and I'll be your doctor this evening," Lukas repeated slowly.

"No, no, no. About the… thing. You said 'don't touch that' didn't you?"

"Yeah…?" Lukas had no idea where this was going. Surely, the man has heard a parent say that to him before right?

"You're my soulmate."

"What," Lukas deadpanned. He didn't hear that right.

"My soulmate," Mathias repeated with a growing smile. "You're my soulmate! You said 'don't touch that'!"

Lukas didn't say anything, though his left eye did twitch at the man's loud voice. There was no way his soulmate was… _this_.

"Looky here!" Mathias said holding out his left arm that wasn't broken. Lukas hesitantly stepped toward the bed and looked at the words tattooed on his wrist. Sure enough, they said "Don't touch that."

Lukas took a step back in shock.

"No. There's no way…" he muttered, frantically trying to think of what Mathias first said to him. He came into the room catching up on Heracles' notes, Mathias groaned, Lukas assumed he was probably in pain so he quickly scanned through the rest, and then he… wait. Mathias groaned.

Lukas glanced down at his own wrist, as if the "words" haven't been there for 27 years. Then he looked at a grinning Mathias again bewildered.

"Hey~" Mathias said after he saw the realization settle into Lukas. "How about you let me out of here and we can go on a proper date?"

"You fucking idiot," Lukas breathed, his mind running in circles. "Of all the things you could have said to me when we first met and you say this!?" He showed his wrist to Mathias who busted out laughing. Then he clutched his stomach and groaned. Laughing hurt.

"It's not funny! And you're certainly not getting out of here anytime soon!" Lukas snapped, feeling slightly better at Mathias's pain (even if he was a doctor and supposed to help people _not_ feel pain).

"Great!" Mathias said with a grin and a wink. "It just means more time I get to spend with you!"

"God damnit."

* * *

A/N

I told myself I wouldn't write another new story until I finished my others. But then I came up with this idea and I wrote it down in a hour and a half. Now, I'm going to be late for work... I hope you guys are happy :P

I know this kind of story is probably a bit over done, but this was based on a tumblr post: aphnorge. tumblr post/87987998036/aph-human-au-where-the-first-words-youll-hear (4 spaces)

You can find an easier link on my profile.

Anyways, hope you liked it! Thanks for reading! :P


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